What If the Interruption Is the Point?

You’ve done it again.

You’ve blocked the calendar. You’ve lit the candle. You’ve opened your laptop, ready to finally write the thing / finish the report / meditate like a monk. And then… ding. A child bursts in. A colleague interrupts. A worry whispers. Your day derails.

But what if the interruption isn’t a derailment?

What if—stay with me here—it’s the main event?

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

—John Lennon (and your nervous system)

We’ve been sold a version of success that requires laser focus, pristine boundaries, and uninterrupted time. But as Four Thousand Weeks gently reminds us (and C.S. Lewis thunders), the interruptions are real life. The email, the toddler, the doorbell—they’re not obstacles to your purpose. They might be part of it.

This flips a deep-seated belief: that productivity equals worth, and distraction equals failure. But what if it’s the other way around?

The Myth of Fixed Focus

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of flow has often been hijacked as justification for rigid time-blocking and “deep work” silos. But even Csikszentmihalyi acknowledged that flow is most often found in engaging with life—not hiding from it.

Zen teacher John Tarrant writes that the mind’s default state is not single-pointed focus, but rather “open awareness.” Neuroscience agrees. Research from the University of British Columbia shows that the “default mode network”—the part of the brain active during rest and mind-wandering—is crucial for creative insight and emotional regulation.

So if your brain’s natural setting is to bounce gently, why are we forcing it into rigid lanes?

The Invisible Wins

One of Oliver Burkeman’s (4000 weeks) most piercing insights is that the best outcomes of your day might be invisible.

No fires. No drama. Just calm.

If your child interrupts your work to show you a drawing and you respond with warmth instead of frustration, you just scored an invisible win. If you pause to look at the ocean or offer someone your full attention even though you’re “busy,” you’ve just practiced advanced-level psychological flexibility.

These moments aren’t just cute anecdotes—they’re the building blocks of a meaningful life.

And—contrary to hustle culture—they’re teachable.

Reframing Interruptions: The Science of Acceptance and Presence

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) both suggest that resisting reality increases suffering. In other words, labeling something as a distraction automatically turns it into one.

A fascinating study published in Psychological Science found that participants who practiced acceptance (versus suppression) of difficult thoughts or interruptions experienced better emotional regulation and lower cortisol levels.

Another study by Killingsworth and Gilbert (2010) found that “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” But they didn’t mean don’t get distracted—they meant return to the moment. Even if that moment is chaos.

Real-World Reframe: The BBC Dad

Remember the viral video of political analyst Robert Kelly whose toddler burst into his live BBC interview during lockdown? Chaos. Laughter. Humanity. The world fell in love.

What looked like an embarrassing moment turned into a legacy-defining one—not in spite of the interruption, but because of it.

What if the same is true for us?

Tools: Turning Interruptions Into Anchors

1. The 3-Second Reset
   When interrupted, instead of reacting, pause for three seconds. Notice your breath. Say to yourself: This is part of life. Then choose your next action—don’t default.
2. Re-label the Moment
   Borrow from Paul Loomans’ term and call it a “drop-in” instead of a distraction. Language matters. It rewires the narrative.
3. Bookend With Compassion
   Before and after deep work blocks, take 5 minutes to “open the gate” to interruptions. This calms the nervous system and reduces jarring transitions.
4. Teach With Transparency
   If you need to finish something, calmly say: I want to give you my full attention. Can I do that in 10 minutes? It’s respectful, honest, and models boundaries with care.
5. Run the Reversal Test
   Ask: If this interruption became a cherished memory—what would have to happen? That mindset shift is often enough to invite presence.

Action Item: A New Mental Model

Instead of measuring your day by how few interruptions you had, try this:

• Did I respond with flexibility?
• Did I notice beauty I didn’t plan for?
• Did I stay human—even when it was inconvenient?

You’re not failing because your day didn’t go as planned. You’re living.

Final Word: Psychology Is a Verb

This is your reminder that psychology isn’t what you know—it’s what you practice. And life will give you plenty of chances to practice.

You will be interrupted today.

Someone will need you.

Your own thoughts might storm in uninvited.

That’s not the end of your plan.

It’s your chance to show up for the only one that matters: the life happening right now.

Fast Psychology Challenge:

Today, let one “interruption” be your intention. Look at it fully. Name it. Choose it. Let it remind you—you’re alive, not automated.